Week 4: Childhood Memories
Someone told us a while back, “The days are long but the months fly by”. I actually would disagree. The days and weeks all just fly by. Livvie is now 4 weeks old (almost a “month” old) and I still cannot believe how much this little green bean has grown.
This week has brought a lot of memories of my own childhood. My mom texted me one day how proud she was of me as a mother and how proud my father would have been and how much he would have loved Livvie. A big part of my identity was making my parents proud. Sure, my mom and I have had some bumps in the years but to hear those words really do mean a lot to me even at 29 years old. I cannot help but think a lot of my dad this week since I keep thinking of the things both my parents did and felt when they had me.
Grant tells me he loves to hear me read to Livvie and that the voices and energy I have is really enjoyable. Both my parents were creative when reading and I try my best to bring that energy out even when Livvie is sleeping and cannot understand a word I am saying. I have some fond memories of my dad reading books like the Pagemaster to us as kids. It’s sometimes hard knowing some of the things he would have loved doing with Livvie but isn’t able to do it.
I keep thinking it will get easier but even throughout the pregnancy the emotions of missing him do get more intense with each thing I feel he is missing. I know it’s something I am working through but I am glad I have maybe a sad moment but I can rebound pretty well from that feeling. Livvie brings so much joy to us that it’s hard to let emotions of sadness overfill the day.
I feel that Grant and I are getting better at keeping up with things but still we always seem to fall behind since the days do fly by. We try and get settled down around 8:00 PM and in bed around 10:00 PM which leads to a wake up call no later than 7:00 AM. I feel when we get out of bed before 6:00 AM we are able to get more things accomplished but the sleeping in days are nice to have but I feel sluggish the entire day. It will be nice when Livvie is able to sleep longer hours but for now we are surviving.
Livvie’s status this week is pretty consistent with a healthy growth level. Her spit ups are pretty much the same. We do loads of laundry daily and we try and catch her spit ups with a burp cloth as much as we can. We fail the majority of the time but we do try our best. A for effort? Livvie also has gained weight which is always a nice feeling to know we are doing great with the nursing sessions. I feel very accomplished knowing she is getting what she needs and the idea of supplementing isn’t as much of a fear anymore.
This week also seems like a “growth spurt” week since Livvie had 4 solid days of wanting to nurse between 16-14 times a day. I felt like this kid could never be full. I have heard of the “cluster feedings” and I just assume it’s one of those periods. I am sure her doctor can answer all those questions for us. The fact she is healthy, loved, safe and sound is all a mama bear could ask for.